so the testimonies went great!! yesterday after that blog, i had a nice conversation with God and He calmed me in a really great way!
so it was tine, rob, achie, zoe, chanelle, marie claire, beppe, sara and i :) and illami guys, God's touched me so so much wtith your testimonies!! ive heard some of them more than once, but man, today it was like bam! in front of me, God's proof of being alive and kicking in our lives.. it was there, in front of us, He's so real! and we're living a great miracle guys!! i just felt like hugging u all, seriously xD and im sure i would have done that to all of you if you were there, my second family :) keep it up guys, you're such blessings given by God man!! thanks for being a beautiful family.. lets pray for unity as rache wrote on her blog.. :) so we'll keep on helpin eachother in this journey!!
thanks for the encouragment, but mostly, thanks to God for being the miracle maker!!
the fact that we must go keeps on stirring in front of me every single day.. but i get scared sometimes.. i wonder if people would criticize me, or if they'd get the wrong impression on who i really am.. i wonder if people would judge me and not grasp the true meaning of what a Christian really means.. but then if i won't go, maybe they wouldn't have a chance to meet the Love we're called to show [by actions and by words].. sometimes i think that preaching through words is easier but now im starting to think that actions might be easier sometimes.. tomorrow, together with some youths, im gona give my testimony to i think about 2 religion classes [probably one would be mine].. and i'm kinda scared.. i know i shouldnt be and i know i should be overflowing with the passion to talk about Jesus, and i do wanna do it, but i'm scared.. and now im saying why the hekk am i being scared? i dont need to be popular in the world's eyes, i'm popular in God's and thats what matters at the end of the day! i dunno what to say, how to react and how to show Him to the people.. but i dont wana deny Him, and im not gona do that for anything in d world.. i just want that these people would really take what we're gona say seriously.. i know God'll speak through us, which is another reason why i shouldnt be scared.. oh please some prayers would help.. cause these people really need Him =/ there are so many lonely people, today a guy just said it wen he was in front of me and his other close friend.. and he seems like a guy who's got everything.. but He needs Jesus! lets just pray for these siblings of ours, to find the light and seek Him..
When you see the word "specs", what comes to mind? one of the most obvious things which come to mind are eyes aye? but then names of some brands like Vogue, D&G or Versace come to mind. Now let's talk about spiritual specs... Would you wear a nice fancy and expensive pair of specs with lots of diamonds, that can easily break if it falls? or a strong pair of specs [not that fancy], but which will last for your whole life?
So today, i had a chemistry practical.. and you gotta use your eyes a lot cause you need to look at the values on the burettes and stuff at eye level [it was titration for those who know chemistry xD] and this was my first lesson, starting at 8 in d morning, so i needed good eyesight :P our teacher kept reminding us to wear our safety specs to avoid gettin blinded by acid drops flying out of the apparatus... [and in the same way, so does God keeps on reminding us some time or another] some of us asked him if we could stay with our normal specs, but he said acid drops could easily pass through and hit our eyes... and then, we all decided to wear our safety ones [even if they might not be THAT stylish]...its worse losing an eye than losing a leg cause u can still live a fine life.. but losing your eyesight is a greater loss [but thats just my opinion..] cause you might not see the light again.. and that's what happens when we wear the wrong pair of specs for a really long time, when we decide to please our flesh, we keep on pushing the voice of truth away and we kinda stop seeing the true Light!
So what this really means is, you need specs, and not only for a chemistry practical but also for your personal christian life... sprays of acid will keep on "attacking" your eyesight.. and acid, being corrosive, will damage your pretty fancy specs [apart from your eyes]! so you need strong ones, which will endure anything! so let's wear God's pair of specs!! :) today during the adoration, i took off my specs and at that same moment i felt God telling me: wear my specs, mar, so you'll see the world through my eyes!! and that's what i really wana do in life, to stop seeing through the specs of materialism, judgment, jealousy, depression or anything that might be gettin in the middle of my relationship with Jesus :) or you need to clean them a bit? what do you think? will we wear the pair of safety specs which God is providing us with?:) they might not be that stylish, in the sense the world thinks is stylish, cause maybe the world would be bombarding you with so many contradictive things, but MIND YOU! He'll surely give you a pair that would suit you ;) and it would really allow you to see the "LOVE" picture!!
And today, i had another double biology practical... and we had to use our eyes again to look under the light microscope :) so God's been using our nice pair of eyes quite a lot today, aye? insomma and we observed a hydra [its a really tiny living thing found in the sea] and twas so cute!! and at that moment i said, illami small things as these do exist!! and sometimes we might wear the specs with the "miniscule" lens? where we see ourselves like small tiny dots compared to other people, and think we're too small to be used by God or too 'ugly' to be liked by a guy or girl? well guess what!!:D God's offering you the specs with the "magnifying" lens!! He wants you to see what a beautiful creation u are to Him, what an amazing irreplacable child you are to Him!! forget the miniscule lens and turn to the magnifying lens!! you're a great person in God's image :)
So which pair of specs would you like to try on, sir/madame? xD
you know how sometimes you feel that you can't keep something in your own hands, because it doesnt depend on you but on others? you do leave it upon God but then you still doubt whether the situation would change, because you know that God will do His best, but you're not sure whether others will accept His help? an example is when you really try to tell a person about God, and you pray about it, but then its up to the person to accept it? or you try to pray for a situation to change but you can't handle it, because you can't really change it... and sometimes you try do something, and you cant find the words of "wisdom"? sometimes i wonder if what i do is enough, if it's really the best i could do.. surely sometimes it isn't! and you think, what if i could turn back time and say this not that? what if i could say these words of encouragment instead of those words of frustration? or what if i could have done this instead of that [not necessarily a bad thing]? but then, regret steals your "now"! so if we really appreciate the present, with all its imperfections, we can then be greatful for the future which will be perfect -the future in God's arms :)
i wanna live my "now" and appreciate the beauties in it, cause each day will never repeat itself in history.. :)
so school has been going on well... i love it!! its all new, independent and cool, all about meeting new people, chilling and having a laugh with your friends in frees and learning new stuff :) but teachers have been stressing us :S already!! i mean, im a person who gets a bit influenced on what people think, especially if i really respect the person.. and ifhem, i dont want all this to affect me :S cause if its gona make me lose hope from day 1, then it isnt worth it... but i dont want that to happen! ive been hearing so many voices saying its tough, its hard, not many people manage it, its nothing compared to what ull be facing at university, you gotta study every single day... and i think all these just make my moral go low, and make me not want to study hard :S and mind you, im a person who loves studying.. but i need to get this in mind: ive started school, and im there to work!! i know this, it just seems too much when lecturers keep on reminding you its tough :S it is, i know, but its too much now :S and i really needed to get that on writing.. lol i wonder who reads this anymore xD but its ok, ill still blog, im still wishing that i could help people through my writing.. but then i know that i write it for God's glory not for mine.
another thing is... i think ive been falling into the land of compromise sometimes.. and i dont wana do it.. im not gona get anywhere if i keep on doing it, and i know this.. cause like i can't be a christian just when i feel like, and its tough!! but ill manage with Jesus, for sure.. i wanna believe, even if the world tells me otherwise. i wanna love, even if the world contradicts me.. i wanna smile and hope, even if the world prohibits it. i wanna reflect Him and be a Christian, even if the world's against it.
Even if I'm not perfect, Lord, I'm ready to be Your channel. I know that I'm weak without You, but I strongly believe that with You I can do all things. Help me to reflect Your love and compassion, to have a heart like Yours! I'll shout for Your glory with everything that's going on in my life, Lord! Let this life be Yours to work upon and to make other lives be changed!
ahh praise the Lord for such a great weekend!! He's been so faithful, so true, so promising!! really... i'm just speechless!! :') let's be strong for His glory, to love Him and be ready to do what He wants from us. He'll never get tired of telling us "I love you", then we shouldn't be tired of proclaiming our love to Him!!:)
why do we sometimes let significant things slip our fingers? why do we forget those times which were once those we really longed for all along? why do we find it hard to refrain from what we're doing and let the world stop for a moment, so that we'll really consider when was the last time we really felt at peace? how come we change so much, in a small span of time? why do we forget what truly gave us the sense of belonging, in order to look for it somewhere else? why is the past sometimes not as meaningful to us as the present? is it because we're too busy worrying about the future of the present, without really taking in the full beauty and significance of the present? what will become of us, sometimes we ask, without really knowing what we are now... where is the happiness of the past, sometimes we wonder, without really grasping the beautiful meaning of the present... why have things changed through time,(we ask), is it because it was meant to happen, or because we've let it slip through our fingers like sand? what will become of me, sometimes i ask, if i let my life slip through my fingers? what would i say, sometimes i ask, if i lose my grip? what would i do if the things i've always dreaded would actually happen? would it be the beginning of a storm, or a drizzle of rain followed by a rainbow?
but then i think of myself next to the One most high, and wonder why i even ask questions which would have already been answered... like You had said to Isaiah,
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (isaiah 55: 8)
and You promised another of Your beloveds, Jeremiah, that You've got the future in Your hands..
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (jeremiah 29: 11)
and again, You're promising another child of Yours... You've told me that You'll lead me, wherever i go, if i'd just let You, You'll control the storm without hesitating, You'll love me without thinking twice!!
what if i were as innocent and trusting as a kid? life would be much easier!!
I'm a seventeen year old who will be sitting for her alevels this year :) I aspire to do loads of stuff, and one of them is that of being a christian - trying my best to live a life for God and with God as my father, friend and leader :)
